on the pink floyd being finished as long ago as that
A lot, and I mean, a lot, of this blog has been devoted to chronicling my insecurities about money. In fact, I think the reason I haven't been posting as much lately is that I haven't been living as close to the bone. I'm not actually that much further ahead, but a few lifestyle adjustments and a couple of raises have basically moved me into a position of - well not exactly solvency, but at least into that gray area between ever-impending bankruptcy and actually getting ahead.
Now, one by one, all my dragons are being slain. Two weeks ago I made my last student loan payment. It was only eighty bucks a month, but still, it's over. I've recently overcome a pernicious fear of - what, adulthood? - and actually filed tax returns for the past six years, and am awaiting a fuckload of money as my reward. Once I get it, goodbye Visa balance. Fuck you, Visa, if you're reading this, which you probably are. Fuck you forever.
We have to figure out a way to leave credit card companies in the ground before we take manned trips to Mars.
I digress. The big one is that my house looks to have been sold, and I'm getting a lot more for it than I paid. I know, the markets are hot all over, and I'm an idiot to sell now, but look: that house was a big part of the reason why I scraped the brush so many times. I'm getting out from under it without having to make a lot of costly repairs which are direly needed (new roof, new bathroom downstairs, new rugs), I'm getting a few grand more than I listed it for, and it's not like I'd be able to take care of it properly in absentia, which is where I'm planning to be in a few more months. For me, it's time. Some things have rhythms of their own that ripple in the larger circadian patterns and are lost. Fuck it. We are not just hogs at the time-governed trough. We have freedom, and can gorge and starve like - like -
- like Pigs on the Wing.
I'm experiencing a lot of jealousy w/r/t friends of mine who went to trade schools, or got Chem.E diplomas, what have you, and are now making twice what I am to work in a similarly crap environment. When these guys are my age (I pal around with dudes who are younger than me, it's been that way since grade school), they are going to be motherfucking rich, or at least a little bit rich, or very comfortable, and it'll be about that time that the oil boom will be cresting again, leaving those who pissed it all away to dry in the baking hot sun and fossilize. I sometimes feel as though I am being really irresponsible not to follow suit. Go work for Suncor or something. Two years of school, a shit job making fertilizer for some gigantic fucking enormous chemical concern, and fifteen or twenty years later a house in Aruba and a gun to ward off the zombies.
My brother, fourth year pipefitter, is making six figures. Barely, but six figures. I can tell you since I just finished doing six years worth of tax returns that it wasn't that long ago that five figures was a bit of a squeaker for me. I've progressed a lot in terms of keeping my shit tight independence wise, but I still feel as though - and hell, I'm right - everyone around me is hoisting up first-prize hammerhead sharks while I scrub the chum off the deck.
And here - the housing boom - is another Alberta Advantage I'm not quite getting right. Some A-team baby with gleaming credit is buying the house, fixing the problems, and turning it back out - probably in about three months or less - for a tidy ten or fifteen grand profit. A thing I can't do, because my credit is a flat dead facefuck. I'm getting out - unscathed, I guess, and with a second chance at straight-world credit still in my grasp - but I'm not getting mine. And so many are out here in Albertastan that if you're not, it's like you're dying standing still.
I no longer experience what I mentioned in this blog's very first post, being so close to the edge that I was waiting for my paycheque to clear at midnight so I could buy a pack of smokes. I'm not much further ahead than that right now, but within days all that will be history. What I am dealing with right now is something a lot heavier.
I fear having to deal with insanity and poverty at the same time. Same as you. You know what I'm talking about.
Now, one by one, all my dragons are being slain. Two weeks ago I made my last student loan payment. It was only eighty bucks a month, but still, it's over. I've recently overcome a pernicious fear of - what, adulthood? - and actually filed tax returns for the past six years, and am awaiting a fuckload of money as my reward. Once I get it, goodbye Visa balance. Fuck you, Visa, if you're reading this, which you probably are. Fuck you forever.
We have to figure out a way to leave credit card companies in the ground before we take manned trips to Mars.
I digress. The big one is that my house looks to have been sold, and I'm getting a lot more for it than I paid. I know, the markets are hot all over, and I'm an idiot to sell now, but look: that house was a big part of the reason why I scraped the brush so many times. I'm getting out from under it without having to make a lot of costly repairs which are direly needed (new roof, new bathroom downstairs, new rugs), I'm getting a few grand more than I listed it for, and it's not like I'd be able to take care of it properly in absentia, which is where I'm planning to be in a few more months. For me, it's time. Some things have rhythms of their own that ripple in the larger circadian patterns and are lost. Fuck it. We are not just hogs at the time-governed trough. We have freedom, and can gorge and starve like - like -
- like Pigs on the Wing.
I'm experiencing a lot of jealousy w/r/t friends of mine who went to trade schools, or got Chem.E diplomas, what have you, and are now making twice what I am to work in a similarly crap environment. When these guys are my age (I pal around with dudes who are younger than me, it's been that way since grade school), they are going to be motherfucking rich, or at least a little bit rich, or very comfortable, and it'll be about that time that the oil boom will be cresting again, leaving those who pissed it all away to dry in the baking hot sun and fossilize. I sometimes feel as though I am being really irresponsible not to follow suit. Go work for Suncor or something. Two years of school, a shit job making fertilizer for some gigantic fucking enormous chemical concern, and fifteen or twenty years later a house in Aruba and a gun to ward off the zombies.
My brother, fourth year pipefitter, is making six figures. Barely, but six figures. I can tell you since I just finished doing six years worth of tax returns that it wasn't that long ago that five figures was a bit of a squeaker for me. I've progressed a lot in terms of keeping my shit tight independence wise, but I still feel as though - and hell, I'm right - everyone around me is hoisting up first-prize hammerhead sharks while I scrub the chum off the deck.
And here - the housing boom - is another Alberta Advantage I'm not quite getting right. Some A-team baby with gleaming credit is buying the house, fixing the problems, and turning it back out - probably in about three months or less - for a tidy ten or fifteen grand profit. A thing I can't do, because my credit is a flat dead facefuck. I'm getting out - unscathed, I guess, and with a second chance at straight-world credit still in my grasp - but I'm not getting mine. And so many are out here in Albertastan that if you're not, it's like you're dying standing still.
I no longer experience what I mentioned in this blog's very first post, being so close to the edge that I was waiting for my paycheque to clear at midnight so I could buy a pack of smokes. I'm not much further ahead than that right now, but within days all that will be history. What I am dealing with right now is something a lot heavier.
I fear having to deal with insanity and poverty at the same time. Same as you. You know what I'm talking about.
posted by gibletquesterrs at 10:40 PM
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