blog will eat itself
Is there a way I can make this blog exist in negative space? Like if every keystroke I'm making now erases something from the beginning of the blog, until I finally catch up with what's being written now and there's nothing left of it? Because I'm looking at my readership and it's just me. There isn't any further into uselessness I can go, unless I can make this blog start to degenerate into the nothingness it most closely resembles.
My brother, if you are unlucky enough to be trapped in conversation with him, willl explain to you that anything that exists on the internet is of no value at all since it cannot be made corporeal. He'd never use the word "corporeal", but you know what I mean. It's like a really unpleasant Socratic kind of dialogue he does with people. I say unpleasant because he's unpleasant. These days. He really has a way of making almost anyone feel uncomfortable. Which Socrates probably also did. I mean, the writings go into that, don't they? How Zeno and Parmenides are just kind of sitting there with smiles on their faces like they smell something awful and they're trying not to let on how much it bothers them when this Socrates kid is arguing points everyone else in the room would just prefer to let go of?
Then later in his life he'd be humoured; guys like Thrasymachus and Adeimantus would just hang out with him cause they didn't have shit to do on a Friday night. Whatever. If you ever say anything to the guy besides yeah, yeah, nodding your head, you only make him more upset. My brother, I mean. He would find it hilarious to know I had a blog. So would Socrates, probably. He'd tell me, listen kid, why don't you just go down to the market and try to actually talk to someone if you're looking for a dialogue?
Then I'd tell him how I don't really post comments on other people's blogs anymore because nobody ever reciprocates anyways, so but even if they did reciprocate I'm not sure that's what I really even would want. I mean thinking about it that way, as in, I'll comment on your blog if you comment on mine and so that way we both end up with a comment on our respective blogs and that will make us feel better about our stupid hobby like it's not even less of a waste of time than watching television, I'm not sure that's really even worth anything. I think it would kind of prove my brother's point. Or Socrates'.
My point.: I have no idea what I am trying to do with my blog. And certainly the fact that I am the only one who reads it is a pretty huge signifier that whatever it is that I am trying to do with my blog is almost certainly a waste of my time. But I just don't feel that way about it. I feel guilty when I let big lengths of time go by without having added something here. Why should I feel guilty if noone cares but me? And yet I do care. There has to be a reason. But it's not that I'm looking for a dialogue.
Maybe it's fame.
Look. I 'm not down here in the cellar of readership levels bleating, Ah, yes, blogging! I too have a blog with interesting and funny parts, some things you may agree with, and some little bits that remind you how you're not alone in the universe so come read me! I mean when you're done with busblog and talking points, hey, check it out! I'm a blankety-blank in the ding-dong universe!
It's not like that. I have the sitemeter link just to let anyone who does check it out know: this is something noone reads. As in: are you interested in such a thing? Because if you are, then you're my kind of person.
What I'm looking for is the accidental connection. It doesn't help if you find something on the internet that your friend told you about. That's just you and your friend being friends, and would have happened without the internet. What I want is for someone to happen upon this blog through no other vehicle of exploration but one which is entirely random.
And I want it to end up making me famous. That's all.
I want, need, desire fame. I think that in this Kelly Clarkson era, it's just best to be honest and upfront about it. The first reason, and possibly the last one, why I should be famous is that I so, so desperately want it. Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much.
My brother, if you are unlucky enough to be trapped in conversation with him, willl explain to you that anything that exists on the internet is of no value at all since it cannot be made corporeal. He'd never use the word "corporeal", but you know what I mean. It's like a really unpleasant Socratic kind of dialogue he does with people. I say unpleasant because he's unpleasant. These days. He really has a way of making almost anyone feel uncomfortable. Which Socrates probably also did. I mean, the writings go into that, don't they? How Zeno and Parmenides are just kind of sitting there with smiles on their faces like they smell something awful and they're trying not to let on how much it bothers them when this Socrates kid is arguing points everyone else in the room would just prefer to let go of?
Then later in his life he'd be humoured; guys like Thrasymachus and Adeimantus would just hang out with him cause they didn't have shit to do on a Friday night. Whatever. If you ever say anything to the guy besides yeah, yeah, nodding your head, you only make him more upset. My brother, I mean. He would find it hilarious to know I had a blog. So would Socrates, probably. He'd tell me, listen kid, why don't you just go down to the market and try to actually talk to someone if you're looking for a dialogue?
Then I'd tell him how I don't really post comments on other people's blogs anymore because nobody ever reciprocates anyways, so but even if they did reciprocate I'm not sure that's what I really even would want. I mean thinking about it that way, as in, I'll comment on your blog if you comment on mine and so that way we both end up with a comment on our respective blogs and that will make us feel better about our stupid hobby like it's not even less of a waste of time than watching television, I'm not sure that's really even worth anything. I think it would kind of prove my brother's point. Or Socrates'.
My point.: I have no idea what I am trying to do with my blog. And certainly the fact that I am the only one who reads it is a pretty huge signifier that whatever it is that I am trying to do with my blog is almost certainly a waste of my time. But I just don't feel that way about it. I feel guilty when I let big lengths of time go by without having added something here. Why should I feel guilty if noone cares but me? And yet I do care. There has to be a reason. But it's not that I'm looking for a dialogue.
Maybe it's fame.
Look. I 'm not down here in the cellar of readership levels bleating, Ah, yes, blogging! I too have a blog with interesting and funny parts, some things you may agree with, and some little bits that remind you how you're not alone in the universe so come read me! I mean when you're done with busblog and talking points, hey, check it out! I'm a blankety-blank in the ding-dong universe!
It's not like that. I have the sitemeter link just to let anyone who does check it out know: this is something noone reads. As in: are you interested in such a thing? Because if you are, then you're my kind of person.
What I'm looking for is the accidental connection. It doesn't help if you find something on the internet that your friend told you about. That's just you and your friend being friends, and would have happened without the internet. What I want is for someone to happen upon this blog through no other vehicle of exploration but one which is entirely random.
And I want it to end up making me famous. That's all.
I want, need, desire fame. I think that in this Kelly Clarkson era, it's just best to be honest and upfront about it. The first reason, and possibly the last one, why I should be famous is that I so, so desperately want it. Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much.
posted by gibletquesterrs at 1:09 PM
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