plus I bet you could think of a better band name if you tried a little bit

If it weren't for the new, independently-owned modern rock station we have here in Edmonton (which I suppose we should be thankful for, even though they play like way, way too much Our Lady Peace, and which, yeah, you know, I'd sooner actually listen to the new smooth jazz station), I never would have heard the Subways.

I just never would have bothered to investigate. I see their ad on the Pitchfork site and the bass player's a cute blonde, but I'm not ripping any Samantha Fox tracks, am I?

Anyways, so I've heard them. Or at least their single "Rock and roll queen". Which sucks.

Conclusion: our new modern rock radio station sucks. They are introducing me to new bands that I don't fucking like very much.

And I am writing this why. Come on, g, you can get something out of this train. The song sucks because the lyrics are sad, sad, sad. They are in the vein of trying to be so totally composed of moldy old rock cliches but in a new-fangled energetic presentation that drags the real meaning back out of them again, i.e. so that when the lead singer attacks the last line "be my little rock and roll queen" with what must be admitted to be a fairly impressive exorcist-level screech, you really feel he's being quite insistent about your in fact going ahead and being his rock and roll queen and like now, dammit.

But that's ridiculous. How can you be so emphatic about such a meaningless demand? Without wandering accidentally into Poseurland and breaking all the china? What is there to feel that emphatic about? Nothing, that's what, and therefore the Subways are full of shit. Not knowing anything at all about the band except the cuteness factor attached to the bass player, I am forced to assume that English is their second language. If it's not, they should be truly ashamed. If it is, then they're a more aggro Shonen Knife, and I didn't like Shonen Knife much the first time around but hardly ever wished they'd get crunchier and scream more, know whut I mean?

It's just a song. It's just one single. Maybe they're like the Killers and put out their most annoying single first. But this one is so bad, it leaves me wondering - someone somewhere had to like this an awful lot for them to get signed, and to get the airplay they're getting. I have a two part question: who the fuck is this person, and what are they in charge of? Cause I need to sell that fuckin shit short fast.