five bucks if you can hum the theme from it

I'm running now - two bridges, twice a week. The plan was to run during the weekdays and hit the gym on the weekends, but last weekend all I did was eat out a lot and watch Lord of War, the better to destress from the longest Friday shift of my fucking life. Oh well, they say you shouldn't really try to take on big projects when you're in the first stages of nicotine withdrawal or you'll just set yourself up.

I'm starting to sound like a chick.

Tomorrow will have been three weeks without cigarettes (never use "sans" when a simple "without" will do, or risk looking like an asshole), which means the cilia in my lungs should start returning soon. The running should get a little easier too, over the next while, pray to God.

Right now I'm drinking coffee from a french press, which is supposed to be bad for people with high cholesterol. Fuck it: filtered coffee tastes gross. I have also of late reverted to fast food assaults and chronic masturbation. Yay.

Every day, I should be asking myself: What can I do today? Instead I ask myself: What can I do today to make up for last night?

At least the answer isn't "more of the same, guv'ner!" every goddamned day. Oh, that pesky satyr - heads like a Hydra and the cutest little miniskirt...

All I can do is take it One Day at a Time, like Mackenzie Phillips did. Everyone in that show had their demons, didn't they? Schneider always had that pack of cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve of his t-shirt, Bonnie Franklin had Howard Hesseman guest spots in nothing but a towel, Mackenzie had... well, she did some drugs, I s'pose... Did you know that show went for nine fucking seasons?

Time for a DVD package, I say. This sinful, shrivelled old world needs it. Plus maybe I could stop eating these peanut butter cookies my girlfriend made last night.