She pulled up my shirt to sign my tit and I said, "No. The book. Please."

I heard about H.O.P.E awhile ago when they protested Paris Hilton's book signing.

I guess it's sort of funny, but why on earth, if you feel so strongly about it, would you just not read a book you didn't want to read? Or not watch a tv show you thought was crap? Bad television shows are a blessing - watching one is like snorting up a line of ants you thought was coke. Coke makes you feel like having some more coke, like Carlin said, but nothing stops that train like a line of ants. And the thing is that you never can tell - Pamela Anderson's book might be some really, really important cultural artifact someday. Like Gilgamesh in Assurbanapal's library.

There's no accounting for taste. Who knows if one of the archaeologists who found all those stone tablets might not have browsed through Gilgamesh and said, "This is crap - show me where you found Corinthians"? What's important is that it was found, and history can judge it.

Also, please, find a better acronym and stick with it. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

Hiltons Off Planet Earth

Hack Off Protruding Extremities

Helping Out Poncey Elitists

Harbourers Of Prissy Envy

Or you may find some further inspirations upon investigation of other fellow modern-day tomecidal maniacs. Careful with this stuff at dinner parties, dudes. Feelings of imperial entitlement take a lot of cologne to disguise.




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Speaking of imperial entitlement, remember that today is the last "Buy Something Day" for a little while. "Buy Something Day" returns November 27th.