guilty as charged!
Coming off the night shifts, I am awakened by a razor-sharp claw in the middle of my forehead courtesy of a very stupid feline gentleman who is now, and at various random points throughout the day, being punished. I rise, my whole body giving way to the familiar anger that my very existence seems to occasion these days. The adrenalin of the indignation propels me to the computer, where short of rising to get more coffee I have sat for two hours now.
Days off. The two words have some euphonic significance. The sounds starting on the precipice of the hard "d", with only soft pillowy consonants afterwards. Hold the "ph" sound for hours and hours, and see how much housework you get done, you judgmental prick.
Sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you. (If anybody's even reading me.)
No. The last parenthesis was a little hasty. Let's really explore that place: Is Anyone Out There Reading Me Yet? I inspect the entries I've posted so far, and I conclude that in the short life of this blog there has been a bit of okay, workmanlike writing, with not too many flourishes of wit and absolutely zero moments of greatness. To tell you the truth, I've had better. If I were you, I would have hit that "Next Blog" link. Which I probably have, on yours, by now, on my quest to find all the really great internet writers on my own, by the accident of recent postings.
Then there's those big fat zeroes in the comments links. Not that there's anything, really, to comment on. I imagine a half-dozen post-collegiate blue collar yuppies in training who are currently, due to the grisly discovery that the last person to wear their bathrobe had trimmed her admittedly luscious but completely itchy-making bangs in it, totally nude, finding the site from sheer boredom and the proximity of a sink belching up days of dirty dishes, scanning it quickly, perhaps looking for something really stupid like a malapropism they can link to so as to prove their internet alpha-ness, or perhaps some really great zippy zen zinger that opens up for them a little corner of the world they'd never even wondered about, and having found neither, giving a little not-totally-unappreciative "hunh" before their stupid cat howls expectantly from behind the stairwell door and they hit that little "X" top right on the screen and throw the itchy robe back on and let the stupid cat out.
Consigned to the nebulae, forgotten for all time. It's okay. It's how we all are going to end up anyways. I'm angry, but it's not your fault.
What i did find when I was doing all of this total massive housework avoidance was something I would like to share with you, something you may perhaps already know but let the cat howl a little longer anyways, please. This is the first part: Bush is going to win. I'm sorry, I really am, but it's going to happen. The lesson of history is that Nixon always beats McGovern. Nixon has been beating McGovern for centuries. McGovern is still out there kicking ass and Nixon is a cold hard dead cypher in the ground, but they will keep digging him up just so he can beat McGovern. You want bitter reality? Nixon beats McGovern even if Kerry beats Bush. Which, again, I'm sorry, but nope.
This is the second part: this does not end the world, neither your responsibility to be a part of it.
Days off. The two words have some euphonic significance. The sounds starting on the precipice of the hard "d", with only soft pillowy consonants afterwards. Hold the "ph" sound for hours and hours, and see how much housework you get done, you judgmental prick.
Sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you. (If anybody's even reading me.)
No. The last parenthesis was a little hasty. Let's really explore that place: Is Anyone Out There Reading Me Yet? I inspect the entries I've posted so far, and I conclude that in the short life of this blog there has been a bit of okay, workmanlike writing, with not too many flourishes of wit and absolutely zero moments of greatness. To tell you the truth, I've had better. If I were you, I would have hit that "Next Blog" link. Which I probably have, on yours, by now, on my quest to find all the really great internet writers on my own, by the accident of recent postings.
Then there's those big fat zeroes in the comments links. Not that there's anything, really, to comment on. I imagine a half-dozen post-collegiate blue collar yuppies in training who are currently, due to the grisly discovery that the last person to wear their bathrobe had trimmed her admittedly luscious but completely itchy-making bangs in it, totally nude, finding the site from sheer boredom and the proximity of a sink belching up days of dirty dishes, scanning it quickly, perhaps looking for something really stupid like a malapropism they can link to so as to prove their internet alpha-ness, or perhaps some really great zippy zen zinger that opens up for them a little corner of the world they'd never even wondered about, and having found neither, giving a little not-totally-unappreciative "hunh" before their stupid cat howls expectantly from behind the stairwell door and they hit that little "X" top right on the screen and throw the itchy robe back on and let the stupid cat out.
Consigned to the nebulae, forgotten for all time. It's okay. It's how we all are going to end up anyways. I'm angry, but it's not your fault.
What i did find when I was doing all of this total massive housework avoidance was something I would like to share with you, something you may perhaps already know but let the cat howl a little longer anyways, please. This is the first part: Bush is going to win. I'm sorry, I really am, but it's going to happen. The lesson of history is that Nixon always beats McGovern. Nixon has been beating McGovern for centuries. McGovern is still out there kicking ass and Nixon is a cold hard dead cypher in the ground, but they will keep digging him up just so he can beat McGovern. You want bitter reality? Nixon beats McGovern even if Kerry beats Bush. Which, again, I'm sorry, but nope.
This is the second part: this does not end the world, neither your responsibility to be a part of it.
posted by gibletquesterrs at 2:26 PM
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